No Way Back
by Revvie-S
Summary: SG1 runs into serious trouble on a mission and the problems they experience have a lasting impact on the team. SJ.
1. Default Chapter

Jack pressed back against the wall of the rocky cliff under which he had sought refuge, willing the Jaffa who were patrolling this uninhabited gorge to pass by without detecting him. He got his wish a moment later. The small band of Jaffa were now past his position and headed out of the valley. Jack released a breath he hadn't been aware he was holding, and as the air exited his lungs, his legs wobbled and he sat down involuntarily on the sandy slope. 

Greedily gulping a few mouthfuls of water from his canteen and wiping the excess off his chin with a dirty hand, Jack surveyed the wilderness around him, refocusing his mind and strength on his original purpose for venturing into this rugged canyon in the first place.

Sam was out here somewhere.

Daniel and Teal'C should have been with her, but weren't. He had given up trying to make sense of the distress call, over an hour ago now, that had catapulted him on this urgent quest. She was alone, she'd radioed, and she had lost contact with Daniel and Teal'c.

So where were they then?

They had encountered a party of Jaffa, she'd told him hoarsely.

He had now had the non-pleasure of almost meeting that same company.

She was wounded but had managed to evade capture, Sam had reported. She was afraid that her two teammates had not been so lucky, but she wasn't sure exactly what had happened to them because she'd been hit by staff weapon blast and didn't remember much after that. Jack had asked her if she could walk.

She'd said no. She needed help.

He'd asked her how bad it was. Her answer was vague and it seemed to him that her voice sounded way too weak, way too soft. Jack was now frantic to locate her and get her back to the SGC.

What had happened to Teal'C and Daniel?

The mission had started routinely enough.

They exited the icy grip of the wormhole to find themselves on a sunlit desert planet, so warm they had begun to sweat immediately. Sam had jokingly forbidden her male teammates to remove their shirts, since, she said, it wasn't fair to her. Jack said he didn't see why they couldn't all four remove their tops, and got a self-righteous glare from his Major in return.

Daniel, ignoring the banter, had pointed at the horizon towards a city that had been detected during an earlier recon. Daniel was excited about a possible 'first contact' opportunity with a new alien culture, and enthusiasm lit his face even through the beads of perspiration that hung there.

They had set out down a well-worn path in the direction indicated by the eager archeologist, but Jack had hesitated at the top of the first risewhile they could still see the Stargate behind them, glittering in the sunlight. Something indefinable had sparked a tingle of alarm in Jack's head, and at that point he had put Sam in charge of the expedition to the settlement and had decided to remain behind to guard the Gate. Jack had learned through years of experience to trust his instincts.

And then, not long after Jack had settled in a defensible position from which to watch the Gate, about the same time the three should have been arriving at their destination, Sam's voice had sounded desperately through his com.

Jack stood up again now, his strength returning, and doggedly continued on his way up into the canyon, searching for any clue that his teammates had passed this way, and trying to decipher the few clues Sam had given him as to her location. She'd haltingly told him she was in the shadow of a low hanging tree. She could hear the sound of water nearby. And she could see the canyon wall, rising from the valley floor, not far from her position.

A river ran noisily down the center of this gorge he was trekking through.. He'd been able to hear its percussion the entire time he'd been searching the valley. The only type of vegetation he could see around him were low, scrubby, umbrella shaped trees just like Sam had described. And the foot of a precipice, which ran parallel to the river, was the path he was carefully picking his way along.

She had to be here.

Stopping for another hasty sip of water, he stood sweating and panting in the shade of an alien tree, grateful for the relative coolness of its shade. The barest breeze sifted through the needle-shaped leaves and he closed his eyes briefly, concentrating on the barely detectable zephyr of air soothing his hot face. But there were only a few moments of respite before the urgency of his quest spurred him on.

Sam was only partially cognizant of where she was any more. The staff blast had hit her solidly in the right thigh and knee. Her injury had been bearable at first, and she had managed to get out of sight and elude the Jaffa pursuing her before succumbing to the incapacitating pain. Now the pain was subsiding, but she was experienced enough to know that this was probably not a good sign.

Fear shot through what was left of her awareness, and she tried desperately to stay focused, to stay in tune with her surroundings. She reached up for the radio in her vest pocket. After an eternity of straining to lift her hand to the com, her fingers managed to close over the button and she depressed the intercom several times. Triumphant, she allowed her hand and her head to fall to the ground where she lay, confident that one of her team would hearher signaland realize she was still out here.

"Carter?" Jack responded to the three clicks that crackled out of his radio. "Carter, respond, please."

"Carter, I'm in the canyon, working my way along the foot of the cliff, hoping we're on the same side of the river. If you can hear me, and if you can move at all, get as close to the canyon wall as you can. The Jaffa are gone; I think it's safe to be out in the open. Carter, do you read?"

"Sir."

It was the best she could do. She could only hope and pray he had heard her cryptic response. It had taken all her strength just to get her hand back up to her vest pocket and depress the button one more time to respond to Jack's directives. His voice had given her a hope she hadn't possessed a few moments ago, and now she clung to that hope like a shipwreck victim hangs on a raft.

Willing herself to push through the pain, she rolled herself over and out from under the shelter of the tree, towards the cliff. Just a bit further, she goaded her body. One more move towards Jack, towards getting out of here, towards home.

"Sir."

The one word shot hope and energy into Jack's mind and body and he broke into a jog along the cliff's edge, knowing she was here somewhere.

There.

Sam was strewn limply on the sun-drenched sand, not moving, her right leg covered in blood.

"Sam!"

Seeing her injured was unthinkable, unbearable. Even after all the times he'd dealt with blood and burns on Daniel, or T, or even himself, this was horribly different. He couldn't ever remember Carter being hit by enemy fire. Not once. He slid his arms under her unresisting body as carefully as he could muster and lifted her. She needed first aid, and shelter from this blazing sun.

Spotting a particularly leafy, low-hanging tree and settling Sam in its shade, he leaned her forward against his chest so he could slip off her pack and get to their medical kit. Sam cried out as he manipulated the pack off her arms.

"Sorry," he mumbled while quickly opening the med kit with one hand. Jack set to work disinfecting and wrapping her leg and knee. He finally had to resort to cutting off the already shredded material of her pants near the top of her thigh in order to do the job thoroughly. She followed him with pain-filled eyes throughout the whole procedure.

"Done," Jack announced, leaning back on his heels and peering at her face.

"Carter?" Her eyes were closed again.

"Sir," she said weakly.

"Can you tell me anything about what happened to Daniel and T?"

"No sir, I can't. I'm sorry." Carter started to sit up but quickly abandoned that ambition.

Jack watched her attempt to move end in pain.

"I gave you a shot of morphine, Carter. It'll kick in soon." He reached out a hand to her face, tentatively stroking her cheek, his eyes infinitely tender.

She reached up and wrapped her trembling hand around his where it cupped her face.

"You saved my life, Jack," she praised him groggily, her feeble grip on his hand barely holding.

"Just returning the favor," he smiled. They both knew she had saved his life many times over.

Jack reached up and activated his radio, not relinquishing her hand while he called again for Teal'C and Daniel. There was still no response, and a sharp stab of frustration went through him.

Gently freeing his hand, he used both of their packs to make sure she was comfortably propped up off the rocky ground.

"Drink," he ordered next, holding her canteen to her mouth. After a few sips, Sam sighed fuzzily. The drug was really taking hold now and all she could think about was sleep. Her eyes closed without her permission and her head lolled on the pack underneath her. Jack's hands shot out and steadied her until he was satisfied that she was secure.

"Sleep, Sam," Jack soothed.

"Sleep, sweetie," she thought she heard. She dreamed she felt the gentle pressure of his lips against her forehead just before the world around her dissolved into a drug-induced haze.

It was dark and cold when she next regained her senses. Jack was back to back with her, his head resting on the pack with hers, and she could hear his sleeping breaths, deep and even. Warmth radiated wherever his body touched hers and it felt good, but it wasn't enough. She was shivering, and the shivering was shooting lightning bolts of pain down her leg.

"Jack," she whispered hoarsely. She was amazed at how immediately his dark eyes were open and fastened quizzically on hers.

"What's wrong? What happened?"

"Nothing happened, I'm just c-cold."

"It has gotten colder. Lemme fix that."

He pulled some mylar sheeting out of his pack and wrapped her carefully but securely, finishing by enfolding her in his arms. The resulting increase in heat was heavenly. Sam had soon stopped shivering.

"Better?"

"Much."

"Think you can sleep now?"

"Yes. Why hasn't someone from the SGC rescued us yet?"

"SG1's routine contact from Hammond isn't scheduled until tomorrow."

"I'm what's keeping us from just going to the Gate and dialing home," Sam realized out loud.

"You must be feeling better, Carter," O'Neill noted wryly. "You're thinking too much already."

Sam smiled, but the smile faded as she remembered they still didn't have a clue what had happened to Daniel or Teal'C. SG1 was in deep trouble. As if reading her thoughts, Jack pulled even closer to her, reassuring himself as much as her.

"Hammond will send help," Jack asserted.

"I know."

The cool night breeze was welcome now that they were insulated against the chill. Exhausted, they both drifted towards slumber.

"Sir," Sam mumbled thickly, trying to hold back the irresistable pull of sleep.

"What?" Jack sounded as sleepy as she felt.

"You called me sweetie," she slurred.

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Not."

"Good night, sir."

"Good night...sweetie," Jack whispered teasingly in her ear, amused at what she'd thought she heard earlier, relieved and encouraged by the playful interchange. Sam's triumphant sigh brought a half-smile to Jack's lips. He knew her well enough to know that she was probably happier about winning the argument than she was about his endearment to her. He kept her nestled protectively against his larger frame as if by holding her he could somehow ensure her safety and keep her alive. He was soothed to sleep by the comforting thought that by this time tomorrow, she would have received treatment and be recovering in the SGC infirmary.

Sam woke to a dawning sky. The air was still cold, but the first rays of the sun were already promising another hot day. Jack was up already, heating some breakfast over a portable stove.

Jack noticed that she was awake, and smiled at her.

"Hungry?"

"Not really." He poured a cup of coffee and brought it to her, but she turned away, pale, feeling sick with pain. Jack put the cup on the ground behind him.

"I should check the dressing on that leg."

Sam nodded, but inside she was even more nauseated at the prospect of having anyone or anything touch her aching leg. Jack moved to her side and began to pull at the blood-soaked bandages. At his slightest touch, waves of agony shot through her so that she could barely breathe.

"Please stop," she begged him shakily. With a nod, Jack wordlessly prepared a shot of morphine and administered it with quiet efficiency.

"Thanks," she responded gratefully. The numbing effect was mercifully fast and she found herself relaxing back against the pack she had been cushioned on all night. Jack cut short the first aid procedure by wrapping her leg with a new bandage over the old, so as not to disturb her further.

Jack felt utterly helpless and began to be fearful that she wasn't going to survive this one. They'd squeaked out of so many tight spots and dire situations over the past six years that he'd begun to harbor a secret fear that they were long overdue for a wrong turn. Part of him was always full of dread, waiting for the other shoe to drop. He hoped fervently this wasn't the mission.

"This is General Hammond calling SG1. Report, Colonel O'Neill. Over."

Instant, glorious relief flooded Jack's whole body.

"O'Neill here. SG1 is in serious trouble, sir."

"What's your situation?"

"We encountered a company of hostile Jaffa yesterday. The team was separated during the fighting. Daniel's and Teal'C's positions are unknown. Carter's wounded, sir. She requires medical assistance. We need reinforcements."

"Copy that. Is the Gate secure?"

"I don't honestly know, sir. Our position is in a canyon about three clicks northwest of the Gate."

"Launching recon UAV. Stand by, Colonel."

"Hey, you hear that, Carter?" Jack asked her while they waited for Hammond to contact them again. Jack reached over and grasped her shoulder. "You're going home. You're going to be fine, Sam."

She nodded woozily, out of it but not so far gone that she missed his choice of words.

"Aren't you coming back too?"

"No. I'm not coming back until we locate Daniel and Teal'C."

"Good. That's good. Find them. Bring them home."


	2. What Happened To Daniel and Teal'C

_She nodded woozily, out of it but not so far gone that she missed his choice of words._

_"Aren't you coming back too?"_

_"No. I'm staying here to help locate Daniel and Teal'C."_

_"Good. That's good. Find them. Bring them home."_

* * *

Jack did go back through the Gate to the SGC with Carter, but only long enough to have Hammond give him command of two more SG teams to take back with him. Before Hammond would let them go, he ordered a UAV to survey the town that had been SG1's original objective. The probe sent back several scenes of what looked like a disorganized, ragged band of Jaffa guarding the city's gate before the transmission ended in a burst of static. It appeared that the UAV had been shot down.

"General, I recommend we go right now before those Jaffa figure out that the UAV came through the Gate."

"Agreed. You have a go. Be careful, SG Teams 3 and 7, and godspeed."

Jack disappeared into the shimmering puddle almost before Hammond had finished dismissing them.

Heat blasted like a furnace on the other side, even hotter than earlier when Jack had left the desert planet. The nine men loped down the path towards the village, trying to get as close to the settlement as they could before encountering the Jaffa who would almost certainly be coming soon to inspect the security of the Gate. They weren't disappointed.

Jack signaled his teams to cover the path from the cover of a stand of scrubby trees and they all froze as they waited tensely. Soon a small contingent of Jaffa came into their line of sight. Jack motioned the officers in charge of the two teams to stay put until his mark.

As the group came abreast of where the airmen were watching for them, Jack heard the distinct voice of Daniel in the midst of the party. Relieved and alarmed at the same time, he waited until they had the group hemmed in fromthe front and behind and Jack signaled the teams with him to confront the Jaffa.

Jack stepped out towards the Jaffa leading the group, his weapon aimed at the warrior's throat. He was surprised to see Daniel step in front of the alien, effectively shielding him.

"Don't shoot, Jack! This isn't what it looks like." Daniel's hands were raised, signalling the SGC soldiers to hold their fire.

"Tell me what it is, then, Daniel," Jack said in a menacing tone, still in a defensive posture.

Teal'C now stepped out from the throng of Jaffa to the side of their leader and addressed his commanding officer face to face.

"Colonel O'Neill, we have nothing to fear from these warriors. They are fighting the same enemy as we."

"When we saw the UAV, we knew you were coming to look for us. These Jaffa hate the Gou'ald as much as we do. They had no idea there were others like them." Daniel turned to the rebel leader. "Hayal, these are the friends we spoke to you about. They fight against the Gou'ald also. We can help you in your fight."

"Hayal, Daniel Jackson speaks the truth. The T'auri are allied with other free Jaffa throughout the galaxy." Hayal stepped forward cautiously, eying Jack's fierce posture.

Jack finally lowered his gun, which prompted his forces to do the same.

"Looks like we need to talk," Jack acknowledged. He went forward to his formerly missing teammates and grabbed them in a joyful embrace. The tension between the Jaffa and the T'auri dissipated immediately upon witnessing their heartwarming reunion.

The walk to the city took under thirty minutes, but that was plenty of time for the three teammates to get caught up on all that had happened since they had arrived on the planet the day before.

"Is Sam okay?" Was the first question out of their mouths. They had seen her escaping during their first harrowing encounter with the rebels on the planet, and Daniel wasn't sure if she'd been hit or not. He had been especially concerned about her when Sam had not been among the members of the rescue party. He knew that if it was humanly possible she would be here with Jack right now looking for the rest of her team.

"She's back at the SGC, in the infirmary. She was wounded during your capture."

"She going to be okay?" Daniel asked.

Teal'C, though silent, was listening with anxious eyes. Their last glimpse of Sam had been from a good distance. They saw a staff blast hit very close to her as they were being herded in the opposite direction. In the confusion, neither of them knew if she'd actually been hit or not.

"She'll live, but she took a pretty good hit." Daniel and Teal'C contemplated this news for a minute.

"Uhh. Sorry about the UAV, by the way, Jack. These Jaffa have been alone a long time and they're a little trigger-happy. One of these guys shot it down before we could stop them."

"How many of them are there?"

"I've seen maybe 500, 600, Jaffa, I would guess. That's not counting their families and all. Teal'C wants to bring Bra'tac back to this planet to train them and teach them about the rebel movement. He'll like Hayal."

"So, Daniel, you've done a great job convincing these folks we're on their side. Weren't they suspicious?"

"Well, yes, at first. As much as I would like to take credit for it, it was actually Teal'C that managed to win them over. He showed them that he no longer carried a symbiote."

The hot temperatures took their toll on the unacclimated SGC soldiers so that all of them were panting and sweating when they finally passed through the city gates. Hayal and his men ushered them into a mud and brick building, actually a large hall without any furniture, and they all sat gratefully on the cool sandy floor.

One of the Jaffa then clapped his hands, and the men found themselves being served water and given damp cloths with which to wipe their faces. When all were sufficiently refreshed, Daniel stood up and addressed the assemblage.

"Hayal, this is Colonel O'Neill, the leader of our...warriors. We are a warrior people much like yourselves. Our people are from the planet Earth, and as Teal'C and I have told you, our planet has successfully fought the Gou'ald on many occasions."

"Well, Daniel that may be a bit of a..." Daniel cut Jack off quickly.

"As you can now see, we have spoken the truth to you about our world and our hatred for the Oppressors. Your people are not alone in their uprising against the enslavers of the Galaxy. If we all work together, we have a chance of defeating these evil beings."

Daniel looked smugly pleased with his grand words and even grander delivery.

"Colonel O'Neill," Hayal addressed Jack, who stood when he heard his name. "Our people have suffered much at the hands of the Oppressors. We would be most grateful for your assistance. We are Jaffa who once served the Gou'ald Bar'ak. We believed he was our god, and that he was invincible."

"Yeah, I've heard that same story from others such as yourselves," Jack agreed.

"Bar'ak left for battle many years ago and never returned. Another Gou'ald came in his place and told us he was now our god and that he had killed Bar'ak."

"And... you didn't believe him."

"We believed that gods could not die. This is what we had been told since childhood. But this Gou'ald said Bar'ak was dead."

"So, what happened?"

"I and my second in command took him by surprise one night and killed the intruder god. When we realized that the gods died as easily as we could, we ceased to view them as gods. We determined not to follow them any longer."

Teal'C stepped into the conversation. "Hayal is worried for his people, O'Neill. Soon some of their symbiotes will mature. They have had to resort to killing those among them who have reached this point before now. Daniel Jackson and I have offered to give them tretonin, that they might be free of the Gou'ald forever."

Jack was smiling proudly at Daniel and Teal'C as he stepped forward and grasped Hayal's forearm in a Jaffa handshake.

"Teal'C is right. We can do this for you. And we can introduce you to many other Jaffa who feel as you do. We have a lot to discuss. You are not alone anymore, Hayal." Jack shook his hand heartily.

Hayal turned and addressed his men.

"This is a day we will celebrate, the day we have found a way to fight the Oppressors and save our people!"

As cheers went up around the room, Jack and Daniel stepped through the doorway together and looked out over the dusty city. The inhabitants were beginning to come from every corner, curious about the joyous roars emanating from the Hall.

"Looks like this is going to be some party," Jack observed with great satisfaction

* * *

"General?" Janet was standing at his office door, waiting for his acknowledgment.

"Come, Doctor. What's going on?"

"Sir, it concerns Major Carter. Her condition presents some serious, long-term problems. I don't think even the Tok'Ra could repair the damage to her knee joint and leg. Even if we could get in touch with them."

"Well, that's a big 'if', Doctor Frasier. I have no idea where they are now. Until they contact us, we can't send word to Jacob about Sam. What exactly is her situation?"

"She needs surgery, probably more than once, to repair the damage to her leg and knee. It will be a long recuperation for her. I'm also afraid that she will never make a complete recovery, even with reconstructive surgery."

Hammond was shocked into silence as he considered the implications for SG1.

"Have you discussed this with Major Carter?"

"Yes sir, she is aware of the prognosis. I've talked with the specialist at the hospital, and scheduled her for orthopedic surgery on Wednesday. And after that... she'll just have to take things as they come."

"This will be very difficult, Doctor, as I'm sure you are aware."

"Yes sir." Janet's face took on a hopeful light. "Sir, when is SG1 due back on world?"

"Today, in about four hours, actually. They're finishing up the alliance negotiations with the rebel Jaffa on the planet."

"Good. I wanted to be able to let Sam go home for the next few days, so she can get rested and relaxed before the surgery. I was hoping-"

"Consider it done, Doctor. I'll put SG1 on leave for the next several days. I know they will want to be there to help Sam so she can be at home." Hammond's voice was as sad as Janet had ever heard it.

"Yes, sir. Thank you."

"Dismissed," Hammond whispered, his voice ripe with disappointment. Telling O'Neill that Carter was likely destined for a mandatory medical discharge wasn't going to be pretty.

"Carter! We're home!" O'Neill called in the infirmary doorway.

Sam sat up slowly and carefully with a delighted grin on her face as Jack, Daniel and Teal'C pushed through the door and piled onto her bed. Sam hugged Daniel and Teal'C ecstatically. They had not seen each other since that fateful day when Sam had been shot and they had been captured.

"Hey, you're supposed to be glad to see us," Daniel teased her tenderly, wiping away the tears that were freely flowing down her cheeks.

"I'm just so happy you guys are okay," she blubbered, as if that explained everything.

Jack had waited patiently, but now he pushed through to her side and engulfed her in a huge hug, burying his face against her shoulder. Seeing her cry, even if they were tears of joy, had pulled him apart inside.

Aware of where they were, he eventually pulled back with a mighty effort and sat beside her on the infirmary gurney.

"How's the leg?" Jack asked, gesturing at her blanket-covered thigh.

Sam started to answer but couldn't. She had thought Janet was going to tell them about her situation before they saw her. Jack's eyes grew dark with concern and misgiving as he watched her expression change and he rapidly reached up and squeezed her shoulder.

"It's okay, forget I asked. You can tell me later. You're looking great, anyhow. Need anything? Jello, cake, anything?"

"Just you guys," she insisted. "Janet said if I could talk you into babysitting me for the weekend, I could go home for a few days."

"Consider it done, Carter. Where is the tiny dictator, anyway?" Jack looked around the room.

"Here, Colonel," Janet answered as she entered the infirmary. "And I'll have you know that five foot three is not considered tiny." She laughed a bit sheepishly when he turned with an impish grin, walked right up to her and stood toe to toe, his six foot two inches of bulk towering over her.

"Alright, you're not tiny." He shot her a superior smile for the fun of it.

"So, Sam can go as soon as you three are properly checked out." Janet's satisfied smile in return left no doubt in the men's minds as to some of the procedures she was referring to.

A couple of hours later, all was ready and Janet brought a wheelchair up to Sam's bedside.

"You're free on a weekend pass, my dear," she announced grandly. It took a lot of careful shuffling, but Sam was able to get herself into the wheel chair with a minimum of help. Jack grabbed the handgrips and whisked her off before Janet could change her mind.

Up in the Cheyenne Mountain parking lot, Sam felt like a queen watching her subjects wait on her every need. Teal'C lifted her effortlessly into the passenger seat, and then Jack took over, making sure she was securely fastened in and cushioned with soft pillows for the ride. Daniel stowed her chair in the trunk. They were soon on their way.

"Now don't get used to all the royal treatment, Carter, because it's not going to last," Jack teased. She glanced at him. She was afraid of being on her own for any amount of time, yet anxious to start regaining her independence.

"Well, maybe it could last for the next four days?" Sam suggested.

"Maybe it could." Jack reached over and put his hand protectively on her knee as he drove. The seat back between the front and back seats shielded his hand from Daniel's or Teal'C's sight. After a minute Sam covered his hand with her own.

Slowly, sweetly, she felt his hand turn palm up and his fingers lace through hers. She dared to look over at him to find him glancing at her now and again while he wound his way to her house. His eyes locked with hers for only a second, but it was long enough to communicate to Sam his steady faith in her and his belief that she would come through this too, just like she had so many other trials.


	3. Sam faces physical challenges

It was truly wonderful to be home.

Her house, hers alone, where each piece of furniture was where it was because she'd put it there. The walls were painted in the hues she had chosen. The hangings on the wall, the ancient stuffed animals in her bedroom, the shoes idly kicked under her desk. All her choice, and hers alone. Choices that reflected her self-determination, her right to steer the course of her own life. It was a right that was fast becoming all the more precious to her.

Her first day home from theinfirmary went by pleasantly with Sam enthroned on the couch and the three guys sprawled around her living room in various stages of lethargy. Daniel had called out for pizza delivery and Jack and Teal'C were watching a baseball game. They'd settled for baseball because they couldn't find any other games on the television. Jack had turned on the one game available and then obnoxiously turned up the volume, quipping, "any sport in a storm."

They had made sure Sam had what she needed within arm's reach, and she was now sipping a glass of iced water and reading a scientific journal. The telephone receiver sat near her on the side table.

The doorbell rang, just barely discernible above the roar of the television, and Daniel went to pay the delivery boy and retrieve the two large pizzas-with-everything. He came back into the living room juggling the pizza boxes and two liters of coca-cola.

"Food!" He announced simply, spurring the other two men to action. Although it had looked like an impossibly large amount for four people, the two extra-large pizza boxes were soon empty, with the slice in front of Sam the only remnant still uneaten. Jack watched her listlessly picking at it. Over the course of the last few hours, he'd noticed Sam's mood slipping lower and lower.

"Do you want something else?" Jack questioned her, finally muting the game.

"I'm not very hungry. These drugs I'm on have taken away my appetite." Sam appealed to Jack with her eyes to remove the tray from her lap.

"How about some toast and soup?" He asked, taking away the tray.

"Right now I just want to sleep a little, but maybe when I wake up."

Jack looked like he wanted to say something, but didn't. She saw concern and worry on his face before he took the tray out to the kitchen. He was back quickly, and he sat down next to her on the couch.

"Carter, what's really going on? What's wrong?" He asked. Sam was very aware of all three sets of familiar eyes fixed on her as she fidgeted for a reply.

"I'm not hungry, that's all."

The lack of response told her they weren't buying it. She looked at each of them in turn, and she recognized that she couldn't hide much from them.

"Okay. You don't have to say it, I know I'm thinking too much. But I can't stop thinking about the future, SG1's future, my future. From what Janet has told me, it's very likely that I will never be cleared for active duty. But that's just not an option in my mind. I can't even begin to imagine that. But I'm afraid I might not have a choice."

"You're way down the road, Sam, and it's a road you might not ever have to go down. You haven't even had surgery yet," Daniel appealed to her earnestly.

"Your ability to go on missions will not change our bond, Major Carter," Teal'C observed calmly. "But you are a strong warrior. I believe you will fight with us again."

"I agree with Teal'C. No matter what, Carter, we're going to be here for you. That's a guarantee."

Sam looked at each member of her team, wanting to believe them, but dreading the journey that lay before her. After a minute her expression cleared and a determined resolve took over her features, born of the strength she had drawn from both her teammates' support and her own tenacity.

"Maybe I will have some of that pizza."

Jack's eyes lit up and he tousled her hair with a triumphant grin.

"I'll make you some soup, too."

As the day wore into evening, Sam grew increasingly tired, a deep weariness born of pain and stress that she had rarely before experienced. Finally she interrupted the jovial banter going on between the men.

"I think I want to go to bed now." She had to bite back a smile as her three comrades fell over each other helping her up from the couch and down the hall to bed. It went without saying, she knew, that any one of them would have gladly taken the staff blast himself if it would have spared her this ordeal.

Getting ready for bed posed some uncomfortable dilemmas. She badly wished she could call Janet, but Janet and Cassie had gone away for the weekend. She wouldn't even be home right now for these few short days if her teammates hadn't chosen to spend their downtime with her.

Jack caught on quickly to the worry on her face and shooed Daniel and Teal'C off to the living room.

"Look, Carter. It's okay. Just tell me what you need help with."

"Okay," she agreed uncertainly.

She figured that of the three of them, Jack was the one who, having been married, would have the least trouble with this part of her care. But even beyond that, she felt comfortable with him, and he with her, their unacknowledged bond bridging any awkwardness. Jack helped her change into a loose gown that fit easily over her splint and bandages, then covered her with a warm robe. She had to lean on him heavily to make it to the bathroom without the wheelchair.

"Okay, call me when you're through," Jack instructed after helping her into the bathroom and closing the door.

She took a long time, but she was too proud to ask Jack for any further assistance even in the little tasks of preparing for bed. The splinted leg was hard to work around, and she had sustained nerve damage that caused bursts of pain every time she moved the muscles surrounding her knee. But she finally finished and called out to Jack.

"Easy," he cautioned her as he slipped his arm under her shoulders again and led her to her bed, one step at a time.

"Hey, don't get discouraged, Sam. It'll get better," Jack encouraged her after she let out a frustrated sigh. "Remember when I first got back from that moon with Maybourne? It took me a few weeks to be able to walk without crutches. Or how about that time in Antarctica?"

Sam snorted. "You were a very bad patient, according to Janet."

"What can I say? It's one of my talents. Here, take your pills." Jack was holding out a cup of water and trying to uncap the prescription bottle one-handed.

"Another of your talents?" Sam asked as the purportedly child-proof lid readily popped off. Jack smiled proudly.

She swallowed the medicine and snuggled down under the covers.

"Thanks, sir." Sam smiled up at him drowsily.

"G'night."

"Good night, what?" Sam prompted, remembering their conversation on the planet when she had been in a drugged fog.

"Good night, Sam."

After a moment's pause, he smoothed her hair back from her forehead and leaned over, placing a gentle kiss on her brow. She closed her eyes and savored the moment, missing the look of pain on his face as Jack pondered what SG1 would look like without Sam.

The day of her surgery came all too quickly. Janet had her admitted and in prep for the OR before seven that morning. Sam had spent the night before hanging out with her team. They would be there, they promised, when she came out of the anesthesia later that afternoon or evening.  
Their time together had put to rest her fears that her altered circumstances would damage their bond. She now faced what was to come with a hard-won sense of acceptance for whatever outcome awaited her.

The orderly came in and she apprehensively watched herself being wheeled down the hall to the OR, Janet walking by her side.

The first thing Sam saw as she slowly regained consciousness was a fuzzy, blurry face that looked like an animal. As it came into clearer focus and her brain began processing what she was seeing, Sam soon realized it was a teddy bear, sitting on the pillow next to her, with a huge pink satin ribbon around its neck. She looked around for who had brought it.

"Hey Sam!" She saw Cassie now, perched behind the stuffed bear, smiling a huge grin. "It's about time you woke up."

"What time is it?"

"It's about 1700, Carter," the familiar voice of her CO answered from behind Cassie's vantage point on a stool.

"That means 5:00," Cassie interpreted cheekily.

"Thanks Cass, but I'm not that far out of it. Did I miss dinner?"

"I didn't expect you'd be hungry, Sam," Jack answered. "Are you really?"

"Strangely, yes. Blue jello. Please." Jack smiled at the familiar craving.

"I'll find some and be right back. Although I might have to go to the SGC to get it."

"Well then it doesn't have to be blue, I guess. Just some jello."

"Okay."

"And some ice cream." Jack's eyebrows raised as he exited.

Janet came into the room as he was leaving and took a seat by the head of Sam's bed.

"How do you feel, Sam?" Janet looked tired and serious.

"Pretty good, actually."

"You did fine, Sam. We'll talk more tomorrow when you will be able to actually remember what I tell you."

"Okay. Thanks for the bear, Cassie. I really love teddy bears. I still have the one I got for Christmas when I was eight years old." Cassie smiled, pleased with the praises.

"Jello!" Jack O'Neill announced authoritatively, bringing a tray through the door with three different colors of jello and some vanilla ice cream. Sam chuckled weakly.

"What did you say to the nurses? Looks like they're all in love with you now."

"Of course they are," Jack said, outraged that there was any question.

"You've created a monster," Janet advised conspiratorily.

"No, he's been like this for a long time."

"Hey! I believe you're supposed to say, 'thank you for the jello,' not insult me."

Jack didn't look the least bit insulted as he waved Janet out of her chair and sat down to help Sam with her very interesting dinner.

"See you tomorrow, you two. C'mon, Cass. Let's go." Janet smiled as she left, but her eyes were still troubled. The man and woman in the hospital room, however, were oblivious to her concerned expression as she departed.

Jack ate almost as much jello as Sam. He had conveniently brought two spoons back on the tray with him and proceeded to set up a 'taste test' between the lemon, lime and cherry varieties, devising a surprisingly sophisticated evaluation process.

"Empirical analysis," Sam corrected him.

"Who cares," he offered in return.

Although cherry won, Sam maintained that blue would have easily been the winner if it had but been on the tray.

Visiting hours were over in no time, or so it seemed to Sam, and it was with reluctance that she watched the Colonel leave, the night nurses escorting him away under protest. It struck her as funny that this soldier who'd blown up armies of Jaffa and shot his way out of a thousand tight spots on distant planets was allowing two mere civilians to drag him off down the corridor.

The conversation with Janet didn't happen the next day, or the next, but on the day Sam was discharged from the hospital, Janet lingered behind at Sam's house after she'd helped her get settled.

"Janet? You've been avoiding telling me about the surgery, I know. What is it?"

"Sam," Janet began, taking a seat across the room from Sam's position on the couch, "What I had suspected might be the case is true. There has been too much muscle loss and nerve damage to your knee joint for you to recover full strength and mobility. Now, there are some other surgeries you could have, but even with further procedures, complete mobility is just not a possibility."

Sam sat, stunned, digesting this information. She'd been told this was the probable outcome before the surgery, but she had continued to hold fast tothe belief that Janet was wrong. She suddenly had the suffocating feeling of being trapped in a dead end tunnel with no way back.

"If I have more surgery, isn't there at least a chance that I'll regain the full use of my leg? And what about the Tok'Ra?"

"Sam, I can't tell you there's no chance. There's always a chance. But this time it's a very small one. It's not worth you pinning your hopes on. You'd be setting yourself up for disappointment. And as for the Tok'Ra, we've been trying to get in touch with them ever since you were injured, but without knowing where to even begin looking, we have no choice but to wait until we hear from them. Again, I think that's a long shot. With the kind of damage you've sustained, I doubt even the Tok'Ra could make it as good as new."

"My Dad doesn't even know I'm wounded. For all I know, he could be wounded or dead by now. The Tok'Ra have never gone this long without contacting us before."

Janet sat silently for a minute, feeling wretched for her friend, knowing she was missing and needing her Dad on top of coping with her injury. She stood and took a few steps towards the kitchen.

"Can I get you something? Tea, maybe?"

"Janet, please don't be hurt, but I think I just want to be alone. Yeah. I need to be alone for a while."

"It's okay. I understand. I'd probably feel the same way if I were in your shoes. Call me when you are ready for company again. But do call, and don't try to do anything on your own, at least not today. You're only a few days post-surgery, and you'll need help for a while, yet."

The reminder of her helplessness goaded Sam, but she nodded and agreed. "I'll call you soon, okay, Janet? Thanks for everything."

When the door closed behind Janet, Sam sat without moving a muscle for long minutes, thinking furiously through every option she could even remotely imagine. There had to be an answer somewhere. And in her unique line of work, she knew there must be a whole lot of options out there in the galaxy, if she could only find them. She was lost in a maze, wandering into dead ends, then backing up and going another direction, looking for the one passage that led back to where she'd started. Sooner or later, she'd find it.

She would.

Although she had promised to call Janet, Sam instead fell asleep and awoke later to an insistent pounding on her front door.

"Carter!" She could hear the Colonel's strong voice from her post on the couch.

"Key's under the mat, Colonel," She called back loudly. In a few seconds, he'd entered the foyer and she could hear him stomping down the hallway.

"Be glad you don't have to be out in that," he grumbled, pulling a dripping BDU jacket off his body and hanging it on the back of a kitchen chair. His hair stood on end in wet tufts, giving him a wild look. He sat on the chair and removed his boots.

"That's better," he sighed. "So," he continued, opening his eyes and moving to the armchair next to her. "Janet was getting worried. She sent me over here to check on you. She said she didn't think you wanted to see her right now. You mad at her or something?"

Sam didn't answer immediately.

"What happened?"

"I'm not mad at her, of course not. We just had one of those doctor-patient discussions and I told her I needed some time to think it over, that's all."

"And?"

"I'm still thinking."

"But not talking."

Sam didn't answer but just stared bleakly at him. A flash of sympathy crossed Jack's face.

"Are you hungry? I could call for takeout, or something," he offered earnestly, knowing when it was time to change the subject.

"There's some soup in the fridge that Teal'C left for me. He's a pretty good cook."

"Ah, yes, but aren't you worried about the ingredients?" Jack raised his eyebrows ominously.

"He made it here on Earth, not on Chulak, Jack. It's really quite good."

Jack got up and headed into the kitchen. Soon the banging and crashing of pots and pans could be heard as he heated up the soup and fixed a couple of sandwiches.

"What do you want to drink?"

"Just water for me. Some of your beer is still in there, though."

Jack was soon back in the chair by her side with their small dinner. He uncapped the beer and settled down further into the chair, looking wonderfully relaxed. She smiled at his comfortable groan as he sank into the pillows.

"Okay, Carter, ready to talk to me?" Jack's eyes were warm and encouraging.

"Not much to say. Janet told me the prognosis hasn't changed much in spite of the surgery. She said I will never regain the full use of my leg."

Jack waited, watching her face, but Sam said nothing else. She just stared at her hands, clasped tightly in her lap.

"She told me the same thing," he finally admitted.

Jack got up, his eyes never leaving her face, and carefully made room for himself next to her on the couch. Sam immediately leaned into his sturdy frame and sighed with relief. Neither of them felt like talking for now, but instead sought and found comfort in each other's presence.

"You know, my couch is as comfortable as a bed," Sam said, finally breaking the silence and looking up at him hopefully.

"Okay, I'll stay," he said simply.

"Wow, you're easy," Sam teased.

"You're not the first person to tell me that."

"Sam," Jack hesitated, then plowed in. "The doctors could be wrong, you know. Doctors have been known to be wrong before. Maybe in a few months, things will have changed. Don't give up, okay? You don't have to just accept this."

"What would you suggest I do?" Sam in a frustrated tone.

"What you've always done. Go after what you want like there's no tomorrow. Don't let their opinion, as professional as it may be, keep you from at least trying. You have more choice in this than you can see right now."

"So. When there's no way back, make a way?"

"Something like that. Sam, how many times have you found a way when there just wasn't any? You figured out how to stop an asteroid from obliterating the Earth. You got Teal'C out of the Stargate when his...his..."

"energy signature-"

"-thank you, got stuck in there. You told the SGC to strap the Stargate to the bottom of the X-302 and had me fly it out into deep space to, yes, once again, save Earth from certain doom. You..."

"Stop! Are you just going to go on and on?"

"Hey, the point is, I could! I could go on and on, listing all the impossible things you've made possible. So how's this any different?"

"Well-"

"Right! You're right again, it's no different."

"I didn't answer you yet." Sam was chuckling by now, but there was a brightness to her eyes that hadn't been there a few moments before.

"Thank you, Colonel."

Now her heart was shining out of her eyes and Jack knew that Sam Carter was back.


	4. Sam's Decision

_A/N: Up until now, Sam Carter and SG1 have been dealing with the immediate concerns following Sam's injury. These two final chapters (last one coming soon) deal more with her character, with how she copes long-term and what her responses are to the circumstances she has been thrown into. _

_With a little S/J for good measure. Naturally._

* * *

**3 months later**

"Close the iris! Close it!" Jack bellowed.

SG1 had burst out of the wormhole into the Gateroom and rolled defensively down the ramp amid a shower of enemy fire. The three soldiers breathed sighs of relief and collapsed where they lay as the iris snapped shut.

Hammond ran into the room. "Is everybody okay?" He demanded anxiously.

"Indeed."

"Yes sir."

"Fine. I think."

"Good to hear, airmen. Briefing in one hour."

Daniel was the first off the floor, reaching to give Jack a hand up while Teal'C slowly rose, brushing off the dirt from his very dirty uniform.

"We prevailed," Teal'C observed regally.

"We got lucky," Jack glowered.

"We were stupid," Daniel accused.

As they drew even with the locker room, Jack kept walking.

"I'll be back in a few minutes," he called over his shoulder. He entered the first empty VIP room he came to and grabbed up the phone, dialing rapidly.

"Carter? Hey! Yeah, we're back, everything went fine. Piece of cake. You mind if I stop by later?" Jack's expression had gone from strained to relaxed in a moment.

"What's that? Sure, I'll stop by the store. What d'you need? Uh huh, uh huh, got it...you up for a movie? Great. I'll pick something up. What is that supposed to mean? I pick out great movies! Look, I'll call you from the store and read you the titles. Be there soon."

When Jack rejoined his team in the locker room, Daniel and Teal'C were done with their showers and were getting dressed. Daniel noticed the older man's now peaceful face and smiled to himself.

"How's Sam?"

"That obvious?" Jack chuckled self-consciously. "She's fine. I promised her I'd call when we got back," he tried to explain casually.

"Indeed." Teal'C's eyebrow twitched.

"Yes, Teal'C, 'indeed.' Hey, back off, you guys. Can't two good friends who just happen to be male and female spend some quality time together?"

"Give it up, Jack," Daniel advised, handing him a clean towel and shoving him towards an open shower.

Sam heard Jack pull into the driveway just before sunset. Unable to wait for him to knock, she grabbed her cane and went out to meet him. It had been an unusually long away mission and she'd missed him even more than she'd expected to.

He looked up, surprised and pleased that she'd come out to greet him, smiling as she made her way slowly to his side.

"Hey." He grabbed her up in his characteristic smothering hold. "Missed you," he muttered into her hair.

"Missed you, too. I'm so glad you're back." Her smile was worth all the Jaffa firepower he'd braved to get back.

"Look at you, just a cane, now?" Jack gestured at her leg.

"Well, today's only my third day without the crutches, but I've done just fine."

"Looks like you're doing great. I'll be right behind you with your groceries." The two of them walked slowly back inside Sam's house and she settled herself back on the couch while he put the groceries in the kitchen.

"Why didn't you call me from the movie store? What movie did you get?"

"I got two. Let's see: 'The Sum Of All Fears' and 'Broken Arrow'."

"They're both about nuclear bombs!"

"Yeah, cool, huh?" Jack came out and sat next to her.

"Okay, Sam. Tell me how you've been for the last two weeks, how you've really been."

Sam had been through a roller coaster of emotions and physical setbacks over the months since her injury, and Jack had come to understand that one thing she needed from him was encouragement to keep processing everything.

"Fine," she stated.

"Sam?"

She knew that look in his eyes meant he didn't quite trust her answer.

"Really. It's been better ever since this last surgery. You saw me, I'm down to just a cane."

"Good. That's great." Jack's voice thickened. He forced a smile onto his face for her sake and rapidly stood up.

"I'll fix us something to eat...and then, movie night!" She got up with Jack and he looked at her quizzically.

"I'll help you fix dinner," she announced a bit combatively. Every improvement she made physically was accompanied by a renewed assertion of her increasing independence.

"Come on, then," Jack invited. Sam sat at the kitchen table and chopped up vegetables for stir fry while Jack browned the chicken. Sam looked over at him several times like she was about to say something, but didn't. Finally, Jack turned from the stove and crossed his arms, looking right at her.

"Sam. What's on your mind? You have something to tell me, don't you?" He knew her body language very well by now, and she knew she had no choice but to come out with her news.

Sam put the knife down and clasped her hands tightly together.

"I had a consultation with the specialist yesterday. He says I've done well, better than he expected even."

"But there's a 'but' coming, isn't there?"

"But...he told me this is the end of the road. This is as much recovery as I can expect to see."

"And you just accept this?" Jack was on the edge of anger.

"Jack, I'm not going to just grow back the damaged muscles. I'm not going to regenerate destroyed nerves. I'm not saying I'm giving up-"

"Sure sounds like it to me."

"Jack!" She cried brokenly. "I'm just telling you what he said. I'm telling you what's going to be in the official report and final medical recommendation to the Air Force."

There, she'd said what she needed him to hear.

She had leaned on Jack's unfailing faith in her throughout the long difficult months since she was shot. But only recently had she come to believe that Jack was the one not facing facts, that he was still unshakably sure she would eventually be restored to active duty, and SG1 would then go on as it always had. As much as she had needed him to believe in her before,she now needed him to openly face the truth with her while she learned to embrace her altered reality.

He came to the table and grabbed the cut vegetables to add them to the stir fry, but he still didn't respond. Sam struggled to her feet, got out two water glasses and began filling them with ice and water. The pan Jack was stirring smelled wonderful. Soon he was loading up two plates.

"Do you want to eat in here or in front of a movie?" Jack asked her woodenly.

"Well that depends. Are you going to talk to me or would we just sit here?"

He placed their plates on the round oaken table and moved over to where she stood staring silently out the window at the back yard. His arms wound around her from behind.

"I'm sorry." She closed her eyes, leaning into him as he nuzzled her hair. "I'm just making it harder for you."

She turned around to face him. "I'm sorry, too."

"For what? None of this is your fault, Sam."

"I'm sorry things aren't turning out the way you want for the team. I'm sorry for myself. The thing I want more than anything else in the world is to be back on SG1. And I feel like I'm letting you and the guys down."

"Hey, the only reason you feel like that is because I'm a selfish jerk. The truth is, I've let you down. Forgive me?"

"Forgiven." Sam sniffed shakily. "You haven't let me down. I don't know what I'd have done without you." He gratefully accepted her conciliatory comment, fearing that whatever she said to the contrary, he didn't deserve it.

"I'm hungry," Sam said plaintively from where she stood muffled against his chest.

"Me too," Jack agreed. They sat down and ate heartily, chatting lightly, the tension between them now banished.

"So, what do you think you want to do?" Jack asked tentatively as they finished their meal.

"I have no idea. I've only just started to think about it. You know, I've put all my energy into getting better for the last several months. That's pretty much all I've thought about."

"Of course you have." Jack picked at his plate.

"Until these last few days, that is, since I talked with the doctor. Now I'm thinking maybe I should start looking around. See what's out there. There's lots of possibilities."

"You mean looking outside the SGC?"

He was momentarily stunned. That thought had never occurred to Jack. He'd just assumed she'd come back to work when she was able and continue in some capacity with the Stargate program.

"Jack, you need to understand something. When I'm at the SGC, all I want to do is go through that Stargate, with you guys. I hate not being on SG1. Working at the SGC would rub that in every time a team went off-world. I don't want to have regrets staring me in the face every single day."

Jack was silent while he processed that comment. He knew without a doubt he'd feel the same way in her situation.

Another horrible, incomprehensible thought occurred to him.

"Would you consider leaving the Springs?"

Sam looked up, stricken. The answer was yes, it was written on her face. He reached down deep inside, scrambling and fumbling to resurrect those old walls that he knew were down there, somewhere.

"Where would you go?" Jack delved on, in morbid fascination, unable to let go of this topic that was slowly killing him on the inside.

Sam swallowed hard. "I'm not sure. Like I said, I only started thinking about this recently. Maybe back to Washington. I still have connections at the Pentagon. Or maybe I could teach physics somewhere."

He had absolutely no idea what to say. He refused to even imagine his life without her in it. Jack cleared his throat and stood up.

"You done?" He asked, reaching for her plate.

"Yes. It was great, thanks." She handed it to him, and he handed her the DVDs in the bag.

"Here, go in and start a movie. I'll clean up and be right there."

Sam's heart ached, but she went along with his change of subject.

"Okay, which movie?"

"Doesn't matter. I'm not leaving until we've watched them both."

He smiled at her from the sink, with just a hint of his irreverant self, but she knew he was disturbed by their conversation.

As she made her halting way back to the living room, Jack attacked the dishes with a vengeance. He had made up his mind with certainty in the last few minutes after sifting desperately through his psyche for the strength to deal with this. He wasn't going to add to the pain she'd already had to shoulder, pain she'd borne better than most soldiers he knew. He'd see this through with her, whatever she ultimately decided to do.

The beginning sounds of the movie came from the living room, prompting Jack to throw the towel on the counter and go join Sam. She was propped on one end of the sofa, eyes closed. Jack sat down at the other end and leaned back against the cushions.

Sam looked over, sensing he was upset but not sure if she could get him to admit it and talk about it.

"What are you thinking?"

"About?" Jack was rapidly getting sucked into the movie and only half his attention was on her question.

"About me looking for a job."

At that, Jack paused the movie and turned to her.

"Sam, nobody can take your place. The SGC just isn't the same without you. But...on the other hand, I can understand how hard it would be to work there if you have to give up the Gate."

Jack unpaused the movie, thought a minute, and depressed the 'pause' button once again. "But if you decide the best thing for you is to get something on the outside, well, I can understand that. I guess I'm trying to say you should do what is best for you. I'll support whatever you decide, Sam."

Looking a bit more peaceful, Jack unpaused the movie.

When the action on the screen froze for a third time, Sam found herself growing irritated.

"What now?"

"You wouldn't seriously consider moving to D.C., would you?"

"No, probably not. But I would consider moving somewhere within driving distance of the Springs. Jack, I need to think through what's next. I need something to aim for. Right now, I'm kind of drifting."

"Fair enough. Just...don't drift too far." He smiled wistfully.

"Okay. Can we watch the movie now?" Sam pointed at the screen hopefully.

"Oh, sorry, sure."

The doorbell rang, and Jack paused the movie again.

"Oh, come on!" Sam groaned.

"Helloo!" Daniel's head poked through the front door. "Sam?"

"Back here, Daniel." Daniel bounded into the living room. Behind him, Teal'C was carrying a cake, at which Jack's eyes lit up.

"What's the occasion?" Sam laughed.

"Your birthday?" Daniel said, like she was an idiot.

"Ohmygosh! I'm an idiot!" Sam exclaimed. "I can't believe I forgot my own birthday! I haven't even looked at a calendar in over a week, come to think of it."

"I'm sure Jack didn't forget," Daniel observed pointedly.

"Of course I didn't Daniel! And these...DVDs... were rented in her honor."

Daniel sidestepped over to him and whispered in his ear, "I happened to see it on the cafeteria bulletin board as Teal'C and I were leaving."

Daniel casually moved away and asked loudly, "So, what are we watching?"

Jack disappeared into the kitchen and grabbed four plates, forks, and a knife. A few minutes later, armed with plates piled high with cake, the four teammates settled down to watch Baltimore get nuked.

Sam looked around at each of them, her best friends, her biggest fans.

She really hoped that finding her own way didn't mean leaving them behind.


	5. Finding Her Way

_A/N: And now...on to the conclusion of 'No Way Back'..._

* * *

Hammond ushered O'Neill into his office and shut the door. Gesturing at a chair, he indicated that Jack was to sit down, and took his place in his own chair behind the desk. 

"I received the results of Major Carter's physical yesterday, and the recommendation, as I'm sure you already know, is that she not be returned to active duty."

"Yeah. I saw it too, sir."

"It was attached to a report detailing the medical opinions of her orthopedic doctor and Doctor Frasier that basically said she has progressed as far as she can under the circumstances and is not physically capable of meeting the minimal physical fitness standards."

"Bull," Jack muttered inaudibly.

"I've discussed this with Major Carter..."

"Sir? You discussed her status without her commanding officer present?"

"My apologies, Colonel. It was at her request. She didn't want to put you in the position of having to discharge her."

"So it's final?"

"No, not yet," was all Hammond offered. "But you need to start thinking seriously about who will take the open position on SG1. You know your team will be more secure with four personnel instead of three."

"General, Major Carter has proven her worth in the field over and over again, and it has very little to do with whether she can run two miles or do 50 situps. Isn't there a waiver or a special exception you can ask for so she can rejoin the team?"

"I've already looked into it, Jack. And I'm not finished exploring that option as well as other options. But you know as well as I that she could be a liability in the field in her present condition. She would not only be endangering herself, but her whole team."

"I know that's the party line, sir. I'm just saying, I don't think it applies to this situation. I can speak for the rest of my team when I say we'd rather have Carter out there even in her present circumstances than anyone else I could think of."

"I know, Jack, I know. But my superiors have made the decision, based on the medicals, that she is not fit for duty and as such is not to be reinstated. All I can do is appeal their ruling and keep that line of pursuit open. But in the meantime, I would like SG1 to start taking trainees out, for routine missions only, each on a one-time-only basis. I think you'll all enjoy the chance to get to know some of our new recruits. It will give you some time to think over who you want on the team permanently."

"I'm sure. Sir." There was no mistaking the irritation in O'Neill's tone.

"Jack," O'Neill looked up and Hammond saw his anger and frustration with the situation scrawled all over his features.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry it's come to this."

"Thank you, sir. Me too, sir."

"Dismissed."

* * *

A few weeks later, Jack received a call from Sam as he sat at his desk doggedly sifting through mission reports. He hadn't heard from her in several days, and he hadn't called her, in an effort to give her some space. She'd been restless and distant ever since their talk about her future. Jack was starting to worry that she might actually be considering a move to D.C. after all. 

"Sam! How are you? What have you been up to?"

"Jack, I have a job," she announced without preamble.

"Really! Tell me about it," he responded, surprised and somewhat unnerved by her news.

"It's a professorship at the University of Denver, in the Physics and Astronomy Department. It's exactly what I was hoping to find. The work they're doing in this Department...well, it's an incredible opportunity."

"Sounds great," he managed to get out.

"I start in August. That gives me a month to sell the house and make arrangements to move. I have to go to Denver next week and sign the contract."

Jack struggled for words for a few seconds.

"Jack? You there?"

"Yes, I'm here. Sam, I'd love to hear more about it, but I'm kind of swamped right now. Can I call you back?" He needed some time to adjust to her news.

"Can you come by after work?"

"Sure. I'll bring dinner," Jack offered.

"I'll see you later, then," Sam acknowledged and hung up.

The doorbell rang right at 1800 and Sam knew it was him. She limped over to the door and let Jack in, laughing with delight at the bags of groceries he was barely managing to keep upright. She grabbed one and helped him put the food on the kitchen island.

They cooked together often now, so without much forethought they both picked a task and got to work preparing their small dinner. Jack turned to Sam once everything was prepared.

"Sam, I..."

"You don't know what to say."

"I want to talk you out of it, but I know that's not right."

He got right up into her face, his dark eyes gazing into hers with an intensity that made her shiver. Her resolve began to weaken as she saw sadness and longing equally mixed on his features.

"I can't imagine you not being here," he said painfully.

"Jack, please. I have to do this." Her eyes were now equally intense with determination.

"Why do you have to leave town to do it?"

"Denver's not very far away, Jack. You have to admit this is perfect for me."

His face said otherwise, but he nodded weakly in agreement. Sam dished the chicken and vegetables onto two plates and handed him one. They sat in the living room, eating at the coffee table.

"You should see their observatory, Jack. Actually I've only seen pictures of it so far, but I can't wait to get in there and have a look around. I'll only actually be teaching part of the time. It's a great opportunity."

"It sounds really great." His voice betrayed him.

Jack looked exhausted. "I think I'll call it a night. I enjoyed dinner, Sam. I'll see you soon, okay?"

He gave her a brotherly hug that left Sam feeling empty inside, and headed out the door.

"Night."

Sam felt miserable as she tried to fall asleep that night. Jack's defeated expression as he'd left after dinner was burned in her mind. If this was the right move for her, and everything rational in her said it was, why did it hurt so much?

* * *

Jack threw another report into his outbox and rubbed at the knot forming near the base of his neck. What a month this had been. 

Hammond had saddled him with so many raw recruits he had considered quitting more than once. Either that or killing one or two of them. They'd had a lot of stressful missions, made all the more difficult by the presence of green trainees whose goal in life seemed to be looking for creative ways to get maimed or killed.

And worst of all, Sam was now in Denver, and had been there for the entire Fall. He'd missed her way more than he'd expected to, and he'd expected to miss her a whole lot. In spite of both of their reassurances that they would remain in close contact, the inevitable was already slowly happening and their two very demanding jobs were conspiring to keep them apart. Jack was very close to quitting and showing up on Sam's doorstep begging for sanctuary.

Then there was Hammond.

Hammond had been after him for a while now to choose a fourth team member for SG1. Jack had prolonged that decision as long as he could by doing as Hammond had asked, having taken more than his share of recruits through the Gate on temporary assignment. So far, with this method, Jack had been able to fend off Hammond's demand that he choose a fourth.

Jack had been given the ultimatum this morning, however. Hammond had handpicked the new team member for SG1, he informed Jack brusquely, to be introduced at a briefing scheduled for tomorrow morning. When Jack had protested, Hammond had reminded him, and somewhat impatiently too, that Jack had had his chance.

It was finally quitting time, he noticed with relief. Jack closed up his office and went through the routine of leaving the mountain and driving his car home in a daze of fatigue.

Her car was parked in front of his house.

Yes!

Parking behind it, he jogged to his door and let himself in.

"Sam!" Jack bellowed.

She raised her sleepy head off the couch. "Here," she acknowledged.

"Sam." Jack buried his face against hers with a great sigh. "Whatever you're doing here, in the middle of the week, I don't care. I'm so glad to see you," he whispered fervently.

"I'm back," was all she said in response.

Jack pulled back and stared at her.

"What?"

"I'm back. I resigned a few days ago."

"Why?"

"Well, it's kind of embarrassing, really. Technically, I got fired."

"Oh, come on Carter! You did not. What really happened?"

"It's true. You know I was only teaching part-time this semester. The Department hired a full-time professor with a big, attractive government grant attached to him. My position was terminated."

"That's great!" Jack exulted. "So, what now?"

"Something came up here in Colorado Springs that is perfect for me. I'm moving back."

"Well, I don't even care what it is as long as you're back. Where are you staying? Didn't you sell your house?"

"Actually, it was still on the market. Real estate's been soft in the Springs this entire Fall. I called the real estate agent and now it's not for sale any more. So, I can live in my own house, even though it's pretty bare bones at the moment. Now, come on. Let's go get something to eat, somewhere nice."

Jack pulled his jacket off the floor where it had fallen, unnoticed, when he had first entered his house and found Sam there. Throwing it over his shoulder, he waved her on towards the front door.

By the time they got to the restaurant, Sam had called Daniel, Teal'C, Cassie and Janet and arranged for them all to meet at the restaurant for dinner. The meal stretched out long into the evening as they chatted and joked together, all genuinely thrilled to be together again.

When Sam and Daniel went off to the pool hall, tagged by Teal'C and Cassie, Jack stayed at the table with Janet.

"So how's Cassie doing these days?"

"She's fine, I think. She seems so secretive any more. She's been getting a lot of phonecalls from someone named Ethan, I think."

"Maybe she and I need to have dinner together. That sounds worth delving into."

"If you can get her to talk to you, be my guest. I don't see much of you anymore, Colonel. Are you just buried in work lately?"

"Well, every one of those recruits to whom we've been giving the grand tour generates about 40 pages of paperwork. I had to start a second inbox just for the newbies. But, that's over and done with. Hammond is assigning a permanent member to SG1 tomorrow."

"You don't look too happy about it."

"I'm not."

"I'm sure it's not as bad as you fear, sir."

"It'll probably be worse."

"Ahh, that's the colonel I know and love," Janet ribbed him. "Well, Cassie has school tomorrow. We'd better get going. I'll see you at work tomorrow. Good night."

"Night, Doc."

Jack wandered over to the pool table where Daniel and Sam were battling it out and watched them from the side of the room. With a barely perceptible limp, Sam was running in circles around Daniel, clearly outplaying him, although he seemed to be enjoying the game regardless. Jack watched her for a while, amazed at how much stronger she seemed than the last time he'd seen her. He walked over to the table and gave her upper arm a quick test squeeze.

"You've been working out, Carter," he observed with admiration.

"Yes, I have. You're in the way of this shot..."

She pushed past him and sunk one in the corner pocket, the rebound lining another ball up perfectly for her next shot.

"I wouldn't want to do hand to hand with you right now," he continued, giving her body a very thorough, appreciative gaze. Carter elbowed past him again for her final shot, winning the game, and straightened up, facing Jack.

"You might not want to at that. Pay up, Daniel."

"Ooh! Get Sam around a pool table and she turns into lean, mean biker woman," Daniel accused as he fished a 20 out of his pocket for her, out of sorts from having lost the game.

"Watch it, she might hurt you," Jack advised him. "Well, you two, I've got to get up early, so I'm heading out. See you tomorrow, Daniel. Sam, do you have a phone yet?"

"Are you asking for my phone number?"

"Don't be cute. I have your cell number, you know." Jack was getting a kick out of her pool table personality, a side of Sam that he rarely saw.

"Well, that's my phone right now."

"Okay then. Hey, I'm really glad you've moved back home, Sam. Sorry about the job...okay, actually I'm not sorry at all, but in case you are, my sympathies."

"That was so heartfelt, Jack," Daniel said sarcastically.

"I'm not that sorry either, actually," Sam agreed. "How about I call you when I get done with my first day on the new job tomorrow? Oh, I rode over here with you...you don't mind if I stay for another game with Daniel?"

"Yeah, I'll drop you off, Sam. Now, rack 'em up so I can bury you." Daniel was competitively chalking up his pool cue.

"Sounds great. Knock yourselves out." Jack left with a contented smile on his lips. Tomorrow didn't look so bad any more.

Tomorrow came, bright and sunny, although cold, and Jack was in a better mood than he had been in months when he got to the briefing room. But then he remembered what the briefing was about, and his sullen attitude began to slowly leak across his features again.

Hammond entered, and Jack handed him a monstrous stack of files.

"What's this?"

"It's paperwork on the recruits, sir. And I hope I never have to fill out another newbie evaluation again, with all due respect. Sir."

"Thanks Jack, and let's hope you don't. Colonel, Daniel, Teal'C, shall I have the candidate for SG1 sent in now?"

"Indeed."

"Yes sir."

"Fine."

Jack began to feel a little hopeful at the uncertainty of the word 'candidate'. Maybe he could prolong having to choose a fourth team member even longer.

"Sergeant, tell her we're ready."

Daniel and Teal'C desperately tried to keep straight faces as Major Samantha Carter came through the briefing room door in full dress uniform. Jack was on his feet in a split second, looking completely stunned.

"Carter!" Jack burst out. "Carter is our new team member?"

"If that's agreeable with you, Colonel," Hammond said with an ear-splitting grin.

"Uh, of course it is! But... how did you manage to get the special exception waiver, General?"

"There is no waiver," Sam said coolly. "I passed the fitness test last week and I've been medically cleared for duty by Dr. Frasier, sir."

"You did? You have?"

"Yes, sir. For the past three months, I've been in a very effective, experimental physical therapy program and training regimen up at the University of Denver's P.T. facility."

"So... that was all a story you told me? There was no job teaching Physics?"

"Oh, it was real, at least it started out that way until I heard about the new physical therapy being done at the University. I actually stayed on as a visiting lecturer for the Fall at the Department of Physics and Astronomy while I was enrolled in the P.T. program. I loved it."

Carter stumbled to a halt. "Colonel?"

Jack couldn't speak. For the first time since any of them had known him, they witnessed tears well up in his eyes and roll down his cheeks.

"Major Carter, I am so proud of you," he finally managed to choke out.

Sam took a few steps towards him, tears beginning to form in her eyes as well. The triumphant smile she wore through her tears reflected all of the heartache, setbacks,and sheer perseverance that had led up to this moment.

"Jack, just give her a hug. We won't look," General Hammond urged, unable to keep from smiling. He walked over and shut the door.

But no sooner than Jack had literally leapt across the room and eclipsed Sam in his arms, Teal'C and Daniel were on top of them both, participating in SG1's first officially sanctioned group hug.

"What the hey."

General Hammond walked up, arms spread wide, and joined them.

Samantha Carter was back.


End file.
